Like so many people, I am dealing with a parent who has dementia. Correctly, I should say that our family is dealing with it. My wife really does the lion’s share of dealing with it. Sometimes it is frustrating to the point of needing to go somewhere and scream, other times it is sad, and sometimes it is just downright funny. My dad is nearly 95 years old and is a WWII veteran. My mom passed away a couple of years ago. My dad was showing some signs of memory issues before she passed, but they were rare. Within a few months of her passing, we decided we needed to move from our comfortable home in the city to a 75-year old farmhouse to help him out. We spent a year basically gutting the house and updating it and then moved in about a year ago. The biggest challenge I think was going from four bathrooms to one for our family of four. Ok, maybe it wasn’t the biggest challenge but it certainly was high on the list and was (and is) a daily one.
Now, the memory issues are frequent and the moments of total clarity are becoming rare. We are fortunate that he is in great physical shape. He still likes to cut wood, he still likes to drive the tractor and run the brush hog, and he still likes to take walks through the woods. He is nearly deaf now, but it doesn’t stop him from telling stories. We live in a small town of fewer than 200 people and it is the town in which he was born so he knows all of the history and all of the families that have roots here. He enjoys going to the town cafe (there is only one) and telling stories and people enjoy having him tell them so it works out well.
My wife has found some great online support groups to get tips, safely vent, or just “know” that we are not the only ones dealing with this. In fact, it is very common. We often get asked why we do it and the answer is easy; it is love.
JS